19 years experience behind the wire serving female offenders. As well as nationwide correspondence with prisoners. Networking with many other prison ministries to expand our reach
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
Letter From Prison .. prisoner writes to younger self...
A letter to my younger self
I have seen your future and I want to warn you. You’re just 12 now. All you care about is basketball and girls but pretty soon things will start getting rough.
You’re a shy guy. I know it is hard for you to be yourself and communicate. I want you to know that the pressure you feel to “fit in” is normal. It doesn’t mean you have to do bad stuff so the “cool” kids will like you. It is just a phase, just push through
If you don’t, when you are 15 your parents will get worried. You’re hanging out with the wrong kids and getting into one too many fights. They will send you off to an out of state boarding school. They will do it because they love you and want to help you. They have no idea the abuse you will suffer for 3 years while there.
If you can’t avoid being sent to Elan (the school) then once you get home please tell anyone who will listen what happened to you while you were there. DON’T BE EMBARRASSED!!! Don’t think you deserved it. Elan was not right, you are worth something. NO ONE deserves to be abused. I’m begging you get help!!! Even if you don’t think anything is wrong with you, you ARE hurting.
Soon you will find yourself drinking everyday, from the moment you get up to the moment you pass out at night. It won’t be long before you move on to worse drugs. The problem is the drugs wont help. You will still feel lonely and worthless. You also try to fill the void by trying to be “cool” so people want to know you. Issue is all the people you are trying to impress are the wrong people.
You will go to prison
and not just once. It will be no ones fault but yourown. You should have gotten help. You should have been smarter and stronger.
Somehow God will give you a blessing in the midst of all this mess. He will allow you to meet and marry the most amazing woman on earth. She will see into your soul and know you aren’t evil. She will also give you the chance to become a father to a silly sweet little girl. She won’t be yours by blood but it won’t matter. You love her all the same.
Unfortunately they won’t be in time to save you. You will already be in a downward spiral. With the wrong people again. One day you will tell your daughter that you will be home soon, you will walk out the door, and never return.
You’ll be arrested for 4 ounces of weed and possession of a handgun.You won’t hurt no one but they will give you a million dollar Bond as if you killed someone. Prosecution will offer you 30 years and not budge. You will be terrified. You will never get to “fly” that little girl again. You will miss her whole childhood. Worse yet you will come home when you and your wife are too old to have another child. You will put your life in the hands of the judge. A judge who doesn’t even know you and can’t feel what it will be like to miss that little girls daily laughs and smiles. He gives you 20 years and you take it with hopes to come home before she is all grown up.
You wonder if she will ever forgive you you. You pray that she will but won’t blame her if she don’t. You wish you would have been smarter and stronger. That someone would have seen your pain.
If you don’t do anything else in life, please get help. When everything is out of your hands, ask for help. When someone holds their hand out to help, accept it!!!!
Thank you for reading my husband’s letter. If you would also take a moment to view our petition on change.org we would appreciate it.
☆☆☆We are NOT asking for his release…. just that he not be charged as a violent offense when the ACTUAL OFFENSE was non violent and victimless!!!☆☆☆
☆☆☆ While not innocent my husband was a victim of abuse and still is being abused while in prison. He is part of a class action lawsuit against 232 guards in the state of Illinois. This suit is verifiable by a simple Google search.☆☆☆
☆☆☆ because they charged my husband as a class x violent offense (even thought it was non violent/victimless)☆☆☆
●He is☆NOT ELIGIBLE☆ for good time no matter how well he does.
●He is not eligible to earn credit by participating in classes.
He should at least be able to earn credit for his good behavior so he has the chance to get home just a little earlier and get the help he needs and deserves.